Can't Sleep

I went to bed last night at 9pm because I was so tired and I had a headache. I was hoping sleep would make it go away but I woke up at 1am with a terrible headache that was soon turning to a migraine. I quickly got up and took my cocktail of advil and excedrin knowing that I could stop it quickly. I was so desperate that I took the excedrin even though I knew I would have trouble going back to sleep. Now that it is 4:45am I have completely given up sleep and decided to blog about my evening. I am supposed to get up in 15 minutes to go running anyway.

Yesterday was the beginning of the 4th week of having no kitchen and my house being in total disarray. It was a hard day to say the least. For family home evening we had to spend it in Home Depot picking out bathroom sinks and faucets and eating dinner at Burger King (which I hate). It was rather pathetic. Alan had to help his mom with something so I was left to put the kids to bed by myself. I was really tired and very GRUMPY. Poor Luke kind of took the brunt of all my frustration.

He has a little plastic cap gun that is out of caps but that he loves to shoot over and over again. Usually I just tell him to take it outside and all is well. Last night however, he and Bradley were both running around shooting their guns and yelling and I had had enough. I told them to stop now and don't shoot them again or I would take the guns, break them and thow them away. I don't think I said it very quietly either. After about two minutes Luke must have forgotten or just really couldn't help shooting it and he resumed the noise. I immediately took the gun broke it in half and threw it away just like I said I would. Here is the sad part. He didn't yell or scream or even start to cry. He just sat there and his little lip trembled a bit and he looked totally crestfallen. Mark cried for him though. I asked him what was wrong and he quickly let me know it was ME! We had prayer and I sent them off to brush their teeth. When I went upstairs to check on them I found Luke walking through the hall totally oblivious to me whimpering and muttering to himself, "she just broke it and threw it away. It is gone. In the garbage. Forever." Later I found him sitting on the counter in the bathroom trying to brush his teeth and muttering the same words. It totally broke my heart. If I hadn't broken it I would have gotten it out of the garbage and given it back tomorrow. I think he is definitely getting an orange plastic cap gun for Christmas.
Patience is a virtue that I am obviously still working on. Thank goodness kids forgive quickly and there is always a new day to look forward to and to try again.